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Title: The Teacher
Author: Pretty Bitch
Reviewer: EuKi from jjforeverdbsk.webs.com
--Title: - 8/10
The title suits your story well, but I deducted two points because;
-you just talk about her being teacher at the first 3-4 chapter of the story
-it's not really that catchy
Foreword: - 10/10
I like your forewords since you didn't give away too much, and you put some twists with the question. I also like how you put genre at the beginning.
Appearance: - 9/10
I don't think the gray color of BG match with a lavender poster. Well, I only deducted 1 point since it's not your fault and you just requested a poster from a site.^^
Plot: - 15/15
Your plot is pretty rare. I haven't really read a story like this before. I really like that you put some flashbacks in it. In that way, it make sense to readers what is the relationship of Maki to Jaejoong before Jaejoong raped Maki, and before Maki left Jaejoong. Also, it's really a smart idea that the two met again because one of Maki's student is Jaejoong's sister. So, I give you full credits for that!
Flow: - 7/10
It's a bit fast with the classroom scenes and its a bit slow in the flasbacks.
-you should elaborate your classroom scenes more since your title is "The Teacher" and it must at least shine through the scenes with students. Because as I told you, her point of being tecaher has been shown for like 3-4 chapters.
-flashbacks must be not too long since you will just remember some particular small moments.
-yeah, it is kind of unbalanced.
Originality: -10/10
Your story is really unique and kind of one in a million!
-As I said, I like it how you got connection from Maki's student to Jaejoong.
-The real identity of Hero. It's cool that at first, Hero knows Maki as his sister only not as mother.
-I like it that Yoochun's last words belong to Maki and Jaejoong. The cooller part is he said it to Maki's mom!
-Yamapi not holding a grudge to Jaejoong.
-How you connect the past to present using piano and rain.
Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation/Vocabulary: - 8/10
There's not really that much mistake, just missing words and punctuations. And, I don't think you have problem with your grammar.
Characterization: -8/10
There is a clear characterization for Maki and Jaejoong. But, I'm a bit confused with Yamapi's character. Also with Mrs. Horikita. I thought she was nice at first, but then I thought she was evil since she didn't tell Maki about Yoochun. Moreover, I still give you 8 since near the end, their characters makes sense more.
Writing Style: - 8/10
Your writing style is so smooth and understandable, but it's gonna be better if you use some difficult vocabularies in it to challenge the readers what you really want to say.
Overall Enjoyment: -4/5
You can say that I'm bias because I love DBSK and I'm starting to like Maki, but I gave you 4 since your story isn't really that short and long. Also, your story is pretty unique and creative. I deducted 1 point since Yoochun died, lol just kidding^^
Bonus: -5/5
I gave you full credits because
-this is my first time ever to give a review
-your characters are my favorites
-because you have a story for JaeMaki, YaMaki and Maki fan to read!
-I LOVE THIS STORY! PLEASE MAKE MORE!
-Thanks so much for requesting to http://jjforeverdbsk.webs.com!
Total: - 92/100
Title: The Teacher
Author: Pretty Bitch
Reviewer: EuKi from jjforeverdbsk.webs.com
--Title: - 8/10
The title suits your story well, but I deducted two points because;
-you just talk about her being teacher at the first 3-4 chapter of the story
-it's not really that catchy
Foreword: - 10/10
I like your forewords since you didn't give away too much, and you put some twists with the question. I also like how you put genre at the beginning.
Appearance: - 9/10
I don't think the gray color of BG match with a lavender poster. Well, I only deducted 1 point since it's not your fault and you just requested a poster from a site.^^
Plot: - 15/15
Your plot is pretty rare. I haven't really read a story like this before. I really like that you put some flashbacks in it. In that way, it make sense to readers what is the relationship of Maki to Jaejoong before Jaejoong raped Maki, and before Maki left Jaejoong. Also, it's really a smart idea that the two met again because one of Maki's student is Jaejoong's sister. So, I give you full credits for that!
Flow: - 7/10
It's a bit fast with the classroom scenes and its a bit slow in the flasbacks.
-you should elaborate your classroom scenes more since your title is "The Teacher" and it must at least shine through the scenes with students. Because as I told you, her point of being tecaher has been shown for like 3-4 chapters.
-flashbacks must be not too long since you will just remember some particular small moments.
-yeah, it is kind of unbalanced.
Originality: -10/10
Your story is really unique and kind of one in a million!
-As I said, I like it how you got connection from Maki's student to Jaejoong.
-The real identity of Hero. It's cool that at first, Hero knows Maki as his sister only not as mother.
-I like it that Yoochun's last words belong to Maki and Jaejoong. The cooller part is he said it to Maki's mom!
-Yamapi not holding a grudge to Jaejoong.
-How you connect the past to present using piano and rain.
Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation/Vocabulary: - 8/10
There's not really that much mistake, just missing words and punctuations. And, I don't think you have problem with your grammar.
Characterization: -8/10
There is a clear characterization for Maki and Jaejoong. But, I'm a bit confused with Yamapi's character. Also with Mrs. Horikita. I thought she was nice at first, but then I thought she was evil since she didn't tell Maki about Yoochun. Moreover, I still give you 8 since near the end, their characters makes sense more.
Writing Style: - 8/10
Your writing style is so smooth and understandable, but it's gonna be better if you use some difficult vocabularies in it to challenge the readers what you really want to say.
Overall Enjoyment: -4/5
You can say that I'm bias because I love DBSK and I'm starting to like Maki, but I gave you 4 since your story isn't really that short and long. Also, your story is pretty unique and creative. I deducted 1 point since Yoochun died, lol just kidding^^
Bonus: -5/5
I gave you full credits because
-this is my first time ever to give a review
-your characters are my favorites
-because you have a story for JaeMaki, YaMaki and Maki fan to read!
-I LOVE THIS STORY! PLEASE MAKE MORE!
-Thanks so much for requesting to http://jjforeverdbsk.webs.com!
Total: - 92/100
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